Revolutionary new placebo drug aimed at hypochondriac market
The composition of the latest wonder drug Amalingera is a tightly kept secret, but industry insiders say it’s a carefully-proportioned combination of sugar and food colouring, marketed in a packet...
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Pharmaceutical companies to promote drugs through interpretative dance
Following a new swathe of bribery and corruption allegations being levelled at Glaxo Smithkline, the pharmaceutical industry has announced that henceforth it plans to promote its products through the...
View ArticleCure for unpronounceable pharmaceutical company names ‘still distant’
Pharmaceutical companies are likely to continue to have unpronounceable names for the foreseeable future, according to researchers. ‘A cure won’t happen soon,’ said a spokesman for Pfizer which is...
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Public to be trained to give drug advice to muggers
Members of the public are to be trained to give pharmaceutical advice to drug users before their medicine is stolen from them, under new proposals from the Department of Health. ‘It’s a thorny issue,’...
View ArticleNHS to buy all drugs ‘from a guy called Phil’
With the NHS now shown to be paying too much for medication, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) has centralised its purchasing by awarding a contract to a man known as ‘Phil’,...
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